Thursday, May 19, 2011

I never cry !

Being a guy, we've been told that "you can bleed but never have a tear ."
We are educated for Guys shouldn't cry.
Especially you, GreG. 
I never cry !
and that was history.
You can be strong when facing failure.
You can be strong when facing betrayal.
You can be strong when facing disappointments.
You can still standing strong even you are badly injured!
Can you bear with separating with your loves one? I can't.
Can you bear with the death of your death one ? I can't.
Can you bear with the the failure you have done in lives and causes troubles to others? Again, I can't.
The rains fall cause the sky can no longer handle its weight, just like the tears, they fall cause the heart can no longer handle the pains.
Life is a bitch! 
Too many things happens for you to cry for.
As long as we are in this world, we are meant to be meeting with obstacles, pain, hurts, betrayal, disappointments, separations  etc.
Does it seems weird for a big guy like,180cm and 100kg? imagine ! CRYING ???!!!! like a baby.
How funny was that!
It seems funny but it's not funny at all.People have their own point to cry for.
I felt that the purpose of us in this world is just to collect all kinds of unhappiness.
Until that day we are physically and mentally overload and breakdown, we died.
And again we causes another chain reactions of pain for other to accumulate, so that people can die and the world would not be overpopulated.
People are just like a vessel, some have bigger containing volume, therefore they lives longer.
Some have smaller, therefore their life span is shorter.
Crying was just like a crack on the vessel, it helps to emptied out the vessel.
Now I understands why girls lives longer.

It's funny how hello always ends with a goodbye, how good memories can start to make you cry, and how forever never really seems to last.


Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak.
Since birth, it has been a sign that you're alive.
是不是人越长越大,就越容易落泪, 因为经历了太多, 而越来越脆弱?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mother's Day 2011.

I never have lots of memory about my grandfather, because he passed away before I have any memory yet.
I never spend enough time with my grandmother, because she passed away when I was Primary 6.
I saw my mother crying badly on th phone but I didn't cry, I remember that I am going to have my UPSR.
I wanted to attend funeral but my mother said, "Boy, study hard!" then she continued crying.

Left to right, my grandma, grandpa, and my mother. I haven't exist in this world yet.
Happy Mother's Day, Mommy.!
Happy Mother's Day, Grandma in heaven.
It's another Mother's Day,
It's the 1st year of my working year's Mother's Day.
My mommy is in Tawau and I am in Petaling Jaya.
I didn't Get anything for my mommy but just a call to her saying "Happy Mother's Day" at 2pm in the afternoon.
She replied' "Thanks you, Did you went to church ?"
This reminded me about every Mother's day, when I am in Tawau, 
I must attend church's worships with my mother.
I never like to go to the church with my mommy, but I still go that time because she forced me to.
Recent year, I get the freedom because I am at university staying alone.
I am so happy, and I never attends Church.
This year, I went to church alone.
I flashed back a lots when prayer time.
Mother, I Love You.
I know that you love me so much that's why you kept nagging me and I hate you for nagging me.
Now I understands why.

This is the only Picture of my whole family with my Grandma.

Clock wise direction starting from me.
GreG, Daddy, Michelle, Mommy, Esther, Richard, Popo.
It was my Graduation day !
and it's also the day I received the news that my Popo passed away.
I never know that my Popo was that sick.
I didn't have any feeling when I heard about that news.
My Daddy also show nothing on his face, it was just right after my graduation ceremony, after happily taking photo with people around and we are walking to the car.
The next day, Daddy straight away went back to KK.
Me and Mommy went back the day after Daddy.
When we are at the funeral, I never cry.
I am a strong guy ! 
I cannot CRY!
I am a MAN!
The feeling comes when then starts to cover the coffin and nailed it.
My eyes welled.
Tears starts rolling all over my face.
This is the 1st time I cried so badly after so many years.
I can never see my Popo again.
I felt even sad because it's been very long since the last time I talked to her.
I can't even remembered what's the last thing she told me ! 
This is the worst situations ever.
Happy Mother's Day, Popo.
I love you .
I MISSED YOU so much !
I really hope to have a last words from you.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's in this world.


Now Daddy is 59, Mommy is 55. and I am 24.
They staying across the oceans in Tawau, and I'm in PJ.
I should work hard so that I can give them a comfortable life.
I must have time to take care of them and spend the quality time with them.
Life's Short. People never appreciate anythings when they are still there.
Don't be the one who cannot remember what's the last thing the one loved you the most told you.

Monday, May 2, 2011


...but not the solutions.

This is not the total solution~
Read God's words !
GOD will always plan for YOU!


All written is the obstacles which I am facing everyday.
If it's the solutions ..i have had already killed by LUNG Cancer ~!
lol ~!